A whole new LIFE

2008-11-23T20:49:00.002+08:00

There's one thing that clearly governs our lives. And that is FEAR. This single word does not only makes you tremble and send shivers down your back. It grips onto you and would never let go. Even the slightest fear makes a big difference in any of our lives. People's fear dictates who takes the seat on the summit of the world. Our fear of loss created locks for every single door. Love is possible only because of lovers' fear of loneliness. Fear has rooted itself to our lives, we just need to look deeper to realise how far it has plagued our minds.

I fear... the taste of solitude... I fear... to be true...

2008-10-30T20:39:00.003+08:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before.

Now I'm missing you,

& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door.

Why did you have to go?

You could have let me know.

So now I'm all alone.

Girl you could have stayed ,but you wouldnt give me a chance.

With you not around it's a little bit more than i can stand.

And all my tears they keep running down my face.

Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?

Are you that afraid of me?

But I know it's a lie what you keep inside.

This is not how you wanted to be.

So baby I will wait for you,

Cause I don''t know what else i can do.

Don't tell me I ran out of time.

If it takes the rest of my life,

Baby I will wait for you.

If you think I'm fine it just aint true

I really need you in my life.

No matter what i have to do,

I'll wait for you.

It's been a long time since you called me

(How could you forget about me)

You got me feeling crazy (crazy),

How can you walk away.

Everything stays the same.

I just can't do it baby.

What will it take to make you come back?

Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that.

Why can't you look at me?

You're still in love with me,

Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again,

Get it back to the way it was?

If you give me a chance I can love you right.

But your telling me it wont be enough.

Baby i'll wait for you, even if it's the last thing i'll do.

2008-10-27T20:10:00.002+08:00

雨淋湿了天空毁得很讲究
你说你不懂 (我)为何在这时牵手
我晒干了沉默悔得很冲动
就算这是做错也只是怕错过
在一起叫　梦分开了叫　痛
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
迷路的后果我能承受
这最后的出口在爱过了才有

能不能给我一首歌的时间紧紧地把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪让它留在雨天越过你划的线我定了勇气　的终点

你说我不该不该不该在这时候说了我爱你
要怎么证明我没有说谎的力气
请告诉我暂停算不算放弃
我只有一天的回忆
你说我不该不该不该在这时说了爱你
要怎么证明我没力气
告诉我暂停算不算放弃
我说我不该不该不该在这时才说爱你
要怎么证明我没有力气
我只有一天的回忆

2008-10-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

There's plenty of happenings out there that is hard to explain. Like how a virgin shark can actually give birth to a baby shark, a man can just turn into ashes while sleeping on his comfortable bed and an entire civilisation can be wiped out just overnight. These are some things that you'll debate with your good old friend till the cows come home, and you'll still not get an answer. Life is as such, there are always mysteries that we can't decipher, things that we can't get a definite answer on. You ask me why i fall in love, i can't tell you why. Why did i choose you out of the crowd, i do not know. Why does my heart pound harder when i see your lovely face, i'm not sure. But there's always one thing that is certain, which is the things that are happening right now. Sometimes, when things happen, you don't need a reason, when love occurs, there's no need to ask why. All you need to do is ask yourself, do you love the other person too?

2008-10-04T00:07:00.004+08:00

Suddenly, i feel alive. Thanks for leading me out of the dark. I'll pay you with my heart. You are my queen, i'm not the lonely king no more.

2008-09-28T20:17:00.001+08:00

Work work work.

2008-09-22T03:07:00.002+08:00

Night is dreadful. Only when night falls, does emotions tend to pour out. Worse of all, a rainy night. Can't seem to put my thoughts together, when my senses are blurred. Such moments, we should just cast ourselves to our dream land, and hope to wake up in one piece. Nights.

2008-09-15T23:43:00.001+08:00

Erased.

2008-06-15T11:39:00.000+08:00

Happy Fathers' Day. :)

2008-05-11T16:30:00.001+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day. :)

2008-05-11T16:25:00.002+08:00

Life is so full of dilemmas. We always seem to conflict our own thoughts with our actions. We say one thing, though we really mean it, but we'll do the direct opposite, despite not wanting to do it actually. There's just so much of complexity, yet so little explanations. We seek the answers, but at the end of the day, we are replied with more questions. Such a weird world this is.

2008-04-27T08:57:00.002+08:00

All of a sudden, I'm back to who i was. The broken me. I thought i knew my direction. I thought I was a better person. I thought i was a lot of things. In the end, i'm back to nobody. I'm lost, yet again. I feel that the space between me and the world have widened. I seek solitude, but i don't want to. They are laughing at me, laughing at my idiocy, my foolishness. I'm back to square one.

Desert rose, why do you live alone?
If you are sad, i'll make you leave this life.
Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All i can see is drowning cold grey sand.

The winds of time, you knock me to the ground.
I'm dying of thirst, I wanna run away.
Don't know how to set me free to live.
My mind cries out feeling pain.

I've been roaming to find myself,
How long have I been, feeling endless hurt?
Falling down, rain flows into my heart.
In the pain, I'm waiting for you.
Can't go back, no place to go back to.
Life is lost, flowers fall.
If it's a dream, now wake me up.
If it's for real, just kill me.

2008-04-06T15:37:00.002+08:00

What will the world be without love?
So many wonders out there, from the Great Wall to the Christ the Redeemer. But, we've missed out on one true wonder, LOVE. No one has been able to escape the fortunes of love, and i guess none will, in ages to follow.
Love forms the basis of our lives. We want to live on, because we love our family. We won't bear to die and leave our dear friends behind. Our partners are the reason why we work so hard to make ends meet. Love from the people all around you gives you the courage to carry on. And not forgetting, our being is made possible by the love of our parents.
So much reasons for praising love, but some out there are still detesting this beautiful wonder. They blame it for hurting them, accuse it for blinding their senses, tag it as a burden on their lives. These are people who hate love, but only because they've not seen the true nature of love. It gives energy to people who embraces it, bestow a new meaning to life to those who understands it, and yields endless positives to those who treasure it. We need to look deep into the blessing of love, not just the superficial gains from it. Those who are too shallow in their thinking, often under-rate the good part and become mistakenly engrossed and consumed in the negatives. It's not a simple process of reap and sow, what matters may not always be the immediate result but what is gained after an experience. It's time to rethink some of our views, especially to the haters all around the world.
Back to the first question, what will the world become without love? I wouldn't dare imagine and i wouldn't want to be alive to witness it.

2008-03-29T15:07:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was talking to a fellow officer from another camp, we happened to be discussing about our nation and there's something we had a common opinion on. Something's corroded in our society and it's at the most critical area of any society, organisation, or even civilisation. It came upon me that basic values within us are eroding, and most of you out there are either ignorant about it, or just indifferent toward it.

Values are the very foundation any organisation, community, society and etc. build on. Though there may be visions and missions each group sets and follows, if values of people within them are distorted, these goals would become irrelevant. People will be working like machines, programmed to do what they are told, never to raise any opinions, and thrown away when the job is done or when they are outdated. We are doing what we are doing for the sake of getting the job done, and there's no meaning left in our work. Many out there are oblivious to what is happening. Our values now are different from what people had in the past. Our generation is born in a contented life. We have one of the cleanest water source, high standards of housing, low crime rates. Most of us are ignorant of what is happening deep within. More and more are losing basic values like ethics and integrity. Out there people are cheating to get the job done, back-stabbing to cover their own 'a**'. Result is all that matters, and thus values are compromised. The very pillars of our society are slowly being eroded away by the weathers of a changing society.

" We need to do something about it", may be the first thing that comes to your mind. But, "Will i be able to make others follow me? Do i have the ability to sway the crowd? Should i risk to jeapordise my comfortable life just to make a difference which might not actually happen?", will be what surfaces next. We are all stuck in this inescapable cycle of action and inaction. We are so used to the calm and comfort, that we are unwilling to risk our current state of living. To be honest, i'm trapped too. However, one phrase keeps ringing in my mind, urging to move out of my comfort zone, take the step out, and take responsibility for our future because it lies on our shoulders. " Dream- nothing!" (Dalai Lama)

2008-03-22T16:14:00.001+08:00

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when i sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have love at all.

2008-03-20T21:59:00.002+08:00

There's plenty of regrets out there. Don't you have regrets too? So often, when i look back at my past, i see myself making mistakes out there, silly and definitely irreconcilable mistakes. I can't find any excuse or reason for why i did those things, because if i'm given another chance, i'll definitely not choose that. It really puzzles me, the work of the mind and maybe heart. I'm not totally sure which do i base my decision on, my own logic or purely emotion? I'll need to be an expert at this area to be able to answer that. ( if any of you guys out there know the answer, please contact me! haha)

However, look at it in another way. What if i made the 'right' choice at that time, and for some reason, i'm not who i am today? And 'who' will i become? A better person? Nobody knows. So can we really say that some of the things that we did were mistakes, or that what we thought was right is really right? It's all in the grey area. Noone can give a absolute answer on that.

All of us should re-think our way of qualifying decisions. A stupid move can change a person's life, for the worse or for the better. So now the question would be whether your life has been shaped into a 'good' one or a 'bad' one. You'll realise that you can't give a definite answer, and it just leads to more questions. Hence, am i right to say that only when you can answer the questions of your life, then can you have the right to regret? Think about it.

2008-03-20T04:54:00.002+08:00

I'll be back with my regular posts the next time. For now, i would just like to apologise to all out that i have disappointed in my 20 years of life. Within this 20 years, i've made people angry, hate me and sadly, broke people's heart. I know this would not make any difference to what i had done, but at least, this is my only way of expressing my apologies to who ever it's related to out there. I've learnt my lesson in life, and i'll never repeat ever again, because i know there'll never be a second chance.

There's only one life, live it once and live it well.

2008-03-09T19:13:00.002+08:00

Haha. My mind is occupied with 15 March now. No room for other stuff to post on the blog. :) COMMISSION LOH! But with great power comes great responsibilties, and i'll definitely be up to it. There's no moutain i can't conquer, no seas i cant sail and definitely no planes i can't take down! Maybe my new post should be on how to be a successful leader.

Till then, i shall soak myself in this joyous period and hold my head high, because it's been a long time since i've felt proud of myself. :)

2008-03-01T22:08:00.002+08:00

Watched 'Tuesday's With Morrie" in Airforce School not long ago. Most of the others who watched said the book was better. For me, movies tend to have a greater appeal. I'm really not the 'book' kind of person.

But anyway, what i wanted to bring out was the lessons ( about living) 'Morrie" ( a dying old man) wamted to teach us. Morrie is a man dying from a chronic disease 'ALS' and this show revolves around the life of a young man, Mitch, who was a student of Morrie.

Mitch is a typical 'city guy' who is always busy with his career. One day, by accident, he found out that his favourite professor during college time, Morrie, is dying. He initially hesitated to visit this 'favourite professor' because he was guilty of not keeping in touch, which he had promised Morrie when he graduated 16 years ago. Mitch had intended to make this visit the first and last one, but he soon found himself meeting Morrie every Tuesday. He had realised he had been chasing the wrong things in life and how much in life he had missed out. He wanted to know how to live his life, and Morrie had the answers. And hence, he was enrolled into his 'last class' with Morrie.

After the movie, i had this thought, ' Why do people learn the true meaning of life, only when they are about to die?' Which allowed me to realise that most of us are actually leading a blind life. We follow the popular culture, going with the flow of the society, and most of the time we lose sight of the most important thing, essence of life. But when i think again, do we really have a choice to follow our heart, reach for what we truly want, to live life? Time and again, we are driven by the swash of 'material society' and dragged by the backwash of 'money world'. We are forced to do things that we clearly wouldn't like to do, just for survival and to compete in this fast pace community.

But think again, do you think we really have no choice? If you think so, think again. It's true we may not be able to do what we would love to do in our lives, most of us ain't as lucky as the wealthy lot (though they may not be living a meaningful life too) . However, we still have the choice the make the most out of our so-called 'constricted life'. Many people have asked me why did i sign on, saying military life is so monotonous and restrictive. The main reason was because i wanted some stability in my family financial status and didn't want to be a burden for my family when it comes to studying fees. But sometimes, i ask myself that question too, and whether this life really suits me. After a while i realise, there are parts of life where we have no control over especially after some important decisions are made. There are also parts where we can make a difference in, and it's all up to the individual to be able to open up and create meanings in their 'mundane life'.

I've taken pride in my work, though i'm just a 'small fry', I'm doing my part to serve the nation and protect the one's i love. Most of those out there may think that serving the army is just a another pointless chore. They are not at fault, it's because we have been living in such peaceful and safe conditions, taking comfortable living for granted. But we have to understand the volatiliy of diplomatic relations, moreover, we are always the envy of many neighbouring countries. We have to realise we need to be always prepared, be prepared for the worst. (okay I should stop now, cause most of you guys would be thinking I'm brained washed by the SAF. haha.)

So, life shouldn't be a Hobson's choice. We need to take charge of the parts of life we have control over. Learn to live life and don't wait until your dying days to achieve that. "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

2008-02-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

20. Such an awkward age. I'm neither old nor young, is this the "just right" age? I don't think so, on the contrary, i feel this is the worse age. You'll either be mocked for doing something too ambitious, or you'll be scolded for being naive. You will be left wondering what does this age mean. Saddening.

Reaching the age of 20 is not easy. Life doesn't seem as exciting as before. I've kind of lost sight of direction, all previous goals seem distant. I really need to get a grip soon.

2008-02-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

As each new year arrive, the festive spirit seems to dwindle. Each new year appears to be increasingly ordinary. I still can't find the reason for that.

Anyhow, i still wish everyone a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! gong xi fai da cai! :)

2008-02-01T22:05:00.000+08:00

In our lives, there are so many wants, ' I want to be a millionaire, I want to buy a car, I want to be the best...' When will they ever end? Never i guess, maybe until someone discovers the way to longevity. But will Man stop at everlasting life? Don't think so. So what do i want? There are just too many to list down.

But life sometimes is just not kind to you and me. So, after 20 years of ignoring living, I learnt a very useful skill, which is to be satisfied and not complain. People tend to complain about what they don't have and compare with those better off. In the end, all they get is bitterness. Why make urself miserable when u have a choice not to? We've got to learn to be satisfied with what we have and who we are. We need to realise that if we receive something more than what we need, it is just a bonus. We can always live without it, sometimes even better off without it. This little skill may seem insignificant, but if we look at a bigger picture, and everyone learns to appreciate what we have, the world may just become a better place to live in afterall.

2008-01-27T19:34:00.000+08:00

Ok. I had enough of people asking me whether i'm a pilot. Let me say this for the one last time, I'm not a pilot and i never will be one, because i'm an Weapon Systems Officer of Air Defence Artillery, ie WSO (ADA). And my duty is to shoot pilots down. HAHA! So those who want to be pilots, better don't disturb me, or i'll disturb u with my Rapier missiles.

2008-01-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

wanted to post some interesting topics, but just couldn't get the right frame of mind to do it. I seem to be bogged down by something, I've a feeling something bad is going to happen to me soon. I hope I'm wrong and got to get a grip of myself.

See you next weekend world.

2008-01-13T13:58:00.000+08:00

So, this is a new year and we should all have some resolutions to guide us along the year. Therefore, i'd come up with some for myself.
1. No more alcohol, except for occasional wine tasting.
2. At least 20k in my bank by the end of the year. ie spent less save more
3. Stay by my values, RESPECT, INTEGRITY and DISCIPLINE.

I guess this should be enough to guide me through my 2008. It may seem little, but i think a small step at a time is the most effective way to success. Time to build a strong foundation!

2008-01-12T20:27:00.000+08:00

It's 2008 and i think it's time my blog make a comeback. :D Well, 2007 wasn't a great year for me nor for my family. I hope i can make a difference this time round. It's a whole new blog, bringing whole new insights, carrying whole new values and definitely a whole new me. :)